Category Archives
Marriage
Dying of Starvation
“There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.” Mother Theresa
In the midst of arguably the most difficult economic times in the US, I take comfort in knowing that two of the most priceless things remain accessible even to the most economically challenged. And in the midst of my own personal belt-tightening, I haven’t witnessed any degradation in how I show LOVE and appreciation to my family.
While money is a necessary tool in a material world, LOVE and appreciation are huge components of our intangible world. So recognizing money for being a powerful tool is great, but the challenge in our commitment to relationship vitality is to become more sensitive to the transcendent power inherent in true thanksgiving and true LOVE. For example, being thankful and appreciative of my husband has the power to transform the way he looks at himself and helps me to re-center my thoughts on what a gift he is to me.
Oftentimes, mainstream media will tell us that our relationships are in a state of lack unless we possess the latest trendy item. And too often people are caught up in the pursuit of this next big thing, that unfortunately they take their partner for granted and miss the organic items that are already present within their relationship. Unfortunately, this behavior is equivalent to going to the grocery store to replenish the pantry’s inventory before checking the pantry.
Showing appreciation is a LOVE assessment that allows us to take inventory of what we have. Then we are able to demonstrate how LOVE and appreciation are as critical to the life of a relationship as oxygen and blood are to living, thereby eradicating relationship hunger. And giving our mate a sincere compliment, looking at her/him adoringly and smiling, then becomes the new currency.
WhenLoveWorks, people find a way to see through the clutter caused by having to make a living in a material world to see the free gift of LOVE and appreciation staring back at them. ~Elitia Mattox
Too Revealing
Ain’t nothing like a relationship with two covered people who are waiting to be uncovered. ~Michael Walrond, Jr.
Unfortunately our society is steeped in marketing goods that support us in covering, camouflaging, and contorting our true identity. But what’s more tragic is the countless number of people who’ve given themselves over to this societal concept. A concept that reinforces the misnomer that without “x” we aren’t good enough or adequately equipped to: meet our soul mate, create our dream business, or even advance our education.
When did we have to wait for society to give us permission to be great?
When did we depend on other’s validation of our greatness?
The moment one becomes aware of their inherent greatness, believes it and then moves in its power, I believe, is the moment a covering falls away and the true essence of that person is revealed.
The challenge undoubtedly lies at the beginning of this process. But, until this process of “uncovering” takes place, one will continue to lament of the struggle to find that special someone, to receive support in launching a business or matriculating in higher education.
WhenLoveWorks, individuals brave the uncertain depths of the “uncovering” process knowing that they will emerge anew. ~Elitia Mattox
Best Frenzy
If you have to invite your best friend to your wedding, you are marrying the wrong person. Unknown
Organically attaining best friend status with your significant other is a highly coveted place. But too often, that end is shot in the foot when the actions within a relationship become more contrived. For example, many well-meaning people veer off course when they become caught up in being the best, instead of being the friend. Friendship isn’t a competition.
Likewise many attempt to circumvent accruing true chemistry and connection altogether, opting instead to guilt their mates into deeming them best friends based solely on the fact that they are intimate partners.
While I believe being married to your best friend is ideal, I also believe there is never occasion to resort to artificial means to bring this to pass.
WhenLoveWorks, people receive relationships as they are, recognizing that the great ones are as much a product of chemistry (something they can’t control) as they are of effort. ~Elitia Mattox
The F in BFF
It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
Because intimate relationships are emotional ones, they can be very complex, often clouding the vision of a friendship. Consequently, this is why strewn out all along the path to marriage, there are so many casualties. And the autopsy usually reveals that somewhere along this path, the victims lost heart and abandoned honesty, vulnerability, respect and compromise.
Though intimacy can be very frightening, it still doesn’t discount the necessity that awaits. Relationships of this nature are still going to require at least the same commitment given to non-intimate ones.
WhenLoveWorks, couples understand that good friendships make good marriages and good friendships are based on an equal exchange of love, support, wisdom and resources. ~ Elitia Mattox
Marriage Maintenance 101
“If you want to read about love and marriage, you have to buy two separate books”-Alan King
This author is purposely mocking marriage. Unfortunately, many of our well-meaning friends and family do the same when they give us cynical advice from a place of brokenness. However, it’s our responsibility to keep love and marriage intertwined.
As the author implies, loveless marriages abound. But WhenLoveWorks, Marriage becomes the physical manifestation of Love.~ Elitia Mattox
