“It takes much bravery to stand up to our enemies but we need as much bravery to stand up to our friends.” ~J.K. Rowling
Too often well meaning, but naïve people forego much needed confrontations with fiends, surmising that avoiding conflict is critical to true friendship. However, friendship isn’t that tidy. Yes, friendship is accepting one in their current condition, but it’s also being courageous enough to hold them accountable to their personal best. Friendship without accountability is more dangerous than being in bed with an enemy because you’re more likely to see the enemy coming and adjust accordingly. But the friend is afforded access to places in your heart and soul where they can potentially do great damage.
WhenLoveWorks, recipients openly accept confrontation from their friends like they accept their compliments. And givers confront without being hostile. ~Elitia Mattox
The real fault is to have faults and not to amend them. ~ Confucius
All relationships, regardless of their nature, provide fertile ground for growth. Moreover, within most relationships, the abundance of first-hand experience makes for very effective therapy if one extracts the wisdom from the “teachable moments.” Unfortunately, one can just as easily opt not to evolve, and many do, solidifying their fate as eternal adolescents.
WhenLoveWorks, compiled relationship experiences is effectively translated into its functional form: wisdom. ~Elitia Mattox
“The one who loves least, controls the relationship.” Dr. Robert Anthony
Unfortunately, the aforementioned concept is widely known and practiced by many partners in “love” relationships. And likewise, most of these people learned it from someone who practiced it on them first, and so on and so on. Consequently this is part of the reason why Control continues to loom as one of the biggest social diseases. The other reason for Control’s popularity is its outward appearance of power, while delusion, fear and brokenness are concealed just beneath the surface. However, Control freaks only appear to be in power. They derive all of their strength from the loving partner who makes allowances for them. And when these relationships end, as they often do, the control freak is humbled because they are actually losing a source of love. Contrastingly, their partners arrive at closure quicker because throughout the relationship they received little if any requited love (you don’t miss what you never had).
WhenLoveWorks, partners understand that control is born in fear; that fear and love can’t thrive simultaneously and ultimately fear is a cancer to love. ~Elitia Mattox
Most people don’t grow up. Most people age. They find parking spaces, honor their credit cards, get married, have children, and call that maturity. What that is, is aging. ~Maya Angelou
As a culture, we use phrases like “coming of age” to welcome young people to adulthood with no proof that they have accrued any real maturity. However, within the confines of intimate relationships, maturity is most surely distinguished from aging. It is also here, that many first discover the fact that everyone is guaranteed to age, but not guaranteed to mature. So whether you expend ten years, ten months, or ten days, you will age. But, maturity is a bit more elusive, requires active engagement and offers no guarantees.
WhenLoveWorks, individuals submit to the work necessary to mature and develop. They understand that aging is inevitable but maturing is conditional. ~Elitia Mattox