It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
Because intimate relationships are emotional ones, they can be very complex, often clouding the vision of a friendship. Consequently, this is why strewn out all along the path to marriage, there are so many casualties. And the autopsy usually reveals that somewhere along this path, the victims lost heart and abandoned honesty, vulnerability, respect and compromise.
Though intimacy can be very frightening, it still doesn’t discount the necessity that awaits. Relationships of this nature are still going to require at least the same commitment given to non-intimate ones.
WhenLoveWorks, couples understand that good friendships make good marriages and good friendships are based on an equal exchange of love, support, wisdom and resources. ~ Elitia Mattox
“Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex and more violent. It takes a touch of genius–and a lot of courage–to move in the opposite direction.” ~Albert Einstein
I have no idea what Albert Einstein was speaking to with this quote, but when I first encountered it, I immediately associated it with arguments and confrontation. Instantly, I recalled the many times I used my intellect and my training in psychology to support my point of view in arguments. And unfortunately, all this did was make things worse, (more complex) and ultimately led to tempers flaring.
WhenLoveWorks, as Einstein seems to imply, love is best done with the heart and not the head. And if he, being one of the greatest minds ever, can defer to his heart, certainly we can. ~Elitia Mattox
Forgiveness is the economy of the heart…forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits. ~ Hannah More
The dictionary defines forgiveness as wiping the slate clean, canceling debts and pardoning. While the definition may be simple, executing forgiveness is anything but. Forgiving someone that doesn’t deserve it defies all logic and reason, which is why forgiveness is so foreign and frightening, and also why many opt to abandon it altogether.
Specifically, this fear may be attributed to a belief that forgiveness sends the wrong message of acceptance of another’s abuse or offense. Likewise, many think forgiveness would launch them back into a negative cycle.
WhenLoveWorks, forgiveness is seen strictly for what it is. A gift one gives one’s self, that frees one from the mental and spiritual shackles that unforgiveness would surely bring. ~Elitia Mattox
An adversary is a person who hates you without reason or provocation. -defn
The Adversarial relationship in and of itself isn’t that complex or devious; the complexity comes only because people don’t expect others to hate them without reason. Unfortunately, when victims of this unorthodox attack realize they’ve been targeted unjustly, they’re left in a state of bewilderment and confusion.
WhenLoveWorks, people generally engage in regular introspection. As a result, they are able to identify their adversary and limit as much as possible, further interaction. ~ Elitia Mattox