Don’t ever take a fence down until you find out why it was put up. ~Robert Frost
Embarking on a new relationship is exciting but it can also come with challenges. You must resist the urge to be superman or superwoman especially when you haven’t taken the time to get to know the nature of the person or their challenge. When you don’t know the full scope of this challenge or what’s already been done, you may end up doing more harm than good.
WhenLoveWorks, we understand that our friends’ battles are their own and unlike us, they’re uniquely able to address them without being consumed in the process. The better way is to entrust them with the authority and wisdom to involve you when/if needed. ~Elitia Mattox
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.~Carl Jung
It has long been believed that the more we possess a given fault, the more we dislike it in others. And usually plays out in stalemates of epic proportions because initially each can see the other’s flaws but are blind or permissive to their own. This however, is not an absolute because some people are actually masters at projecting their faults onto others.
WhenLoveWorks, people replace judging with mercy, finger pointing with a mirror, and inspection with introspection. ~Elitia Mattox
“…Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealously.” Robert Heinlein
Unfortunately within intimate relationships, jealously has mirrored love like it is an essential part of love’s progression. But make no mistake, it isn’t. If Love is a garden; then jealously is a weed. And weeds are typically a fruitless plant that not only mimics the desired plant but also restricts its light and resources.
Too often naïve people use jealousy to gauge the arrival and intensity of their partner’s love for them. Not knowing until it’s too late that the signs of jealousy in their partner, strictly means that they just have jealousy in their partner.
WhenLoveWorks, suitors recognize that jealousy can in fact provide a quick boost to their ego and their security, but isn’t worth the long-term cancerous side effects. Nor can it compete with a healthy relationship that develops organically. ~Elitia Mattox
“Every failure brings with it the seed of an equivalent success.” – Napoleon Hill
It’s tragic to me how frequently I encounter people who’ve sworn off love altogether. Sad, because in most cases they’ve let negative experiences cripple them without resistance. Most people simply haven’t updated their files, operating as if they learned nothing from their past failures; you are smarter than you were then…whenever then was.
WhenLoveWorks, individuals accept that there are going to be mistakes and they forgive themselves accordingly. Moreover, they don’t allow failures and setbacks to disrupt the evolution of their relationship screening process.
Though not punishable by law, there are many acts that take place everyday within the confines of a relationship that constitute crime on the most insidious level. ~Cullen Mattox
Emotional Unavailability, Passive Aggressiveness, or Psychological and Emotional Abuse all constitute grave offenses against morality. And though they seem to be menial next to murder, rape and assault, I contend that they are equally deadly. Each is extremely destructive, but the difference is the potential victims of murderers or rapists are more likely to flee their assailants, whereas the potential victims of the more subtle emotional or psychological crimes are more likely to tough it out as if enduring abuse were a natural part of growth in a relationship.
WhenLoveWorks, individuals begin with a healthy functional love for themselves; so when dysfunction, no matter how subtle, presents itself it sends a red flag. ~Elitia Mattox