Archives
December 2011
UnMasked
Dating is about finding out who you are and who others are. If you show up in a masquerade outfit, neither is going to happen. ~ Henry Cloud
Dating, in its purest form has the potential to be one of the greatest human experiences. However, because of this same potential, it is subject to corruption.
Fraud is widely practiced in dating as evidenced by the huge array of gold diggers, womanizers and other opportunist who prey on our humanity.
These offenders, though appalling are the least of offenders. The true criminals are those who assume other identities as a means of forming connections, until the pressure of being someone other than themselves proves to be too much and leads to complete annihilation.
WhenLoveWorks, individuals trust the organic process and are genuine throughout all phases of their dating. They thereby organically form genuine connections or they genuinely fail to form connections that were in essence never meant to be. ~ Elitia Mattox
Tit for Tat
“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option”~Mark Twain
If you are the only one sowing into your relationship, then you may have to first reevaluate your definition of a friendship. Friendship, at its core is the equal distribution of resources, support and love between individuals.
Your friendship doesn’t have to feature a reciprocity model that’s “tit for tat.” However, some form of reciprocity is needed. When this is not the case, you are operating in a ministry_ a unidirectional relationship. And if this is your goal, then take on as many ministries as you can afford.
But WhenLoveWorks, people face the truth about their relationships and never try to force ministries to become friendships. ~Elitia Mattox
Equal Value
“We tend to look at ourselves through the eyes of others who are important to us. This is why some people suddenly blossom in healthy new relationships where they are valued as God’s creation.” Henry Cloud
Truer words have never been spoken, especially with regard to intimate relationships. As your partner’s life merges with yours, it brings with it all of his/her views and opinions of you. And just as being valued is conducive to flourishing, being undervalued is conducive to withering.
Few things are more oppressive and draining than laboring under this prejudice and no amount of strong self esteem or thick skin can offset the effect of this forever.
WhenLoveWorks, people are careful to pair with people who see them as they are, and in some cases who they are destined to be. ~Elitia Mattox
Disagree to Disagree
…agree to disagree ~ Josiah Wedgewood
Agreeing to disagree is defined as setting aside an irreconcilable difference in order to maintain general peace and civil dialogue. And In my personal opinion this is one of the greatest strategies ever devised for most disagreements. However, as effective a method this may be with taming tiffs associated with politics, sports or even general recall, it can prove to be a deterrent to couples finding the necessary commonality associated with healthy relationships. This is because couples who intend to remain couples, need to arrive at a common vision or they will undoubtedly inherit di-vision.
WhenLoveWorks, couples, going about their normal life, work past their differences, resist the urge to “mudsling” and realize that there are no shortcuts to becoming a unit and as a result of their commitment they are usually rewarded with optimal solutions. ~ Elitia Mattox
